How To Be a Tech-Startup

Here’s our unofficial (but pretty accurate) tongue-in-cheek guide on how to be a tech-startup (or at least, look the part!).

1. Laidback dress code. No suits allowed! But glam-hipster is unspokenly encouraged – effortlessly stylish is the Shoreditch uniform, and Shoreditch is the (self)proclaimed centre of the British start-up world.
2. ‘Chill-zones’ in the office. Yeah yeah, desks are all well and good. But you seriously need a beanbag. Preferable a Fatboy – but old school bean bags are just about acceptable (Our tip – they are the next big thing because they are retro!)
3. Activity zones in the office. As well as chilling physically, you simply Must have at least one wacky sport/game available to the employees. Ping pong is good – twister is good, old arcade games are super cool but can be anti social. TV-games are ok – as long as the games are chosen carefully – think Super Mario, not WoW. Choose with care!
4. Untraditional office layout. Reception area, lift, hallway offices? Pffft -that’s, like, so corporate. A true start-up would choose a cheaper space, e.g. an old factory building with exposed brickwork, high ceilings, big, industrial style windows, staircases on the outside of the building (having them inside is fine, but just a bit..expected!).
5. Flat structure. Start-ups and hierarchy are as incompatible as water and grease. There is only one level, no one with more power than others. At least on paper.
6. Pretentious coffee. Still drinking Nescafé? Throw it out and sign your office up to a barista class immediately. Start-ups drink fancy coffee. Micro roasts, aero-press, cream and aroma are all words that should go into your vocabulary immediately.
7. Exceptional self-belief. Start-ups have to be passionate – your product or service is the best there is. Enthusiasm and big dreams are important!

It’s not easy being a start-up. It requires a high amount of cool, chequered shirts, stylish jeans, well groomed hair, geeky-gorgeous glasses. It also requires big offices with loads of free space (for your ping pong table, duh) and a fancy coffee counter.

At Loyalzoo? We’re not quite there yet. Whilst we have tons of enthusiasm, our style is heavier on the laid-back than on the hipster-glam and we are in serviced offices. The coffee on offer is instant (but we also have builders brew). Because we’re in London the lack of space is noticeable – we have a cozy fit in the office. We don’t have games and rely on lifts to move vertically (there aren’t stairs, so this is not by choice – we’re not that lazy).

How does your start-up look like?